You Already Have It

Hey guys!! Breanna here. Today I'll be writing about a traumatizing experience I had this past semester. *it was not actually traumatic; but at the time, it felt pretty traumatic.

Allow me to explain. Around February of this year, I started to notice that my eyelashes were looking thinner. However, because I have an 8am every day of the semester this past year, I was always in a rush and didn't take the time to evaluate what might have been going on to cause my eyelashes to fall out. Instead, I continued on with my normal routine of curling my lashes, adding mascara, and then curling them again. (If any of you are into makeup, you're probably cringing right now.) I knew this method of curling my eyelashes was not healthy, but I continued to do it anyways.

Next thing I knew March came around, and I was getting ready for my cousin's surprise birthday party (shoutout to Jae hehe). I wasn't in as much of a rush as usual, which allowed me the extra time to realize that my eyelashes were looking EVEN THINNER. However, rather than addressing the issue then, I went on about my night.

The next day I traveled back to CSTAT, and soon it was Monday morning, and I was getting ready for class. As I went to put on my mascara, I was mortified to see that basically ALL OF MY EYELASHES WERE GONE. I am not even joking. If you want to see video proof, just let me know because it was BAD. I called my mom crying and told her there was no way I could go to class because #1 I was crying and #2 all of my eyelashes were gone. I spent the next two hours crying and trying to figure out how I could go on with everyday life with no eyelashes (sounds dramatic, I know). And before you worry, class ended up being canceled that day. Clearly, the Lord was looking out for me :)

Luckily, my mom is the best and put an order in at Target for fake eyelashes, biotin, and eyelash serum. She even ordered it as a pickup so I wouldn't have to get out #bestmomaward. However, this didn't really help me much in the moment because the damage was already done. I had chosen to ignore the warning signs (AKA my eyelashes thinning over time), and now I was being forced to deal with the consequences (AKA no eyelashes).

I knew it would take months for my eyelashes to grow back, so as you can imagine I was very discouraged. For some context, my eyelashes have always been something I take pride in. Curling my eyelashes was the first makeup-related thing I was allowed to do in the sixth grade, and since then, I always received compliments on them. Welp, not anymore. There was nothing to left to compliment. My mom tried to encourage me, but of course, I refused to listen.

So, for the next two months, I applied eye lash serum each night, took my vitamins, and wore press-on eyelashes. It was a humbling experience to say the least. Fast forward to now, and I am proud to say that my eyelashes are back!! Praise the Lord.

Although this is a funny story, may it serve as a reminder to you not to ignore the signs in your life that something might be off. A practical example of something that Bailee and I have been walking through is our view of food and exercise. Last summer, we began having disordered thoughts around food, and we KNEW the thoughts were unhealthy. I vividly remember sitting at Starbucks with Bailee on the last day of school and admitting that our current perspective on food was probably not a good thing. Unfortunately, we just laughed it off. Little did we know the year of intense struggle we had ahead of us. Because we didn't address the thoughts, compare them to the truth of God's word, and reject them because they went against what God says about us, we are now still dealing with the consequences. With a lot of things in life, ignoring the problem won't make it go away; in fact, it will probably just make it worse.

As I've been getting more into God's Word, I've been surprised to see that God really does have good things to say about His children, and He really does provide for them again and again. Oftentimes, I get so engulfed in the physical realm that I completely forget there are actually a spiritual forces that are fighting against us everyday. The Bible says in Ephesians 6:12 :

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

If you're not saturating yourself in God's word, this sounds crazy. But if you claim to be a Christian, then you should understand that this is daily truth. Ephesians 6 goes on to say:

13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Paul wrote this when he was in prison. Yet, he was still proclaiming God's faithfulness. He fixed His eyes on the eternal over his present, trouble-filled circumstances.

Can we say the same thing about ourselves? Are we fixing our eyes on Jesus no matter what? I know I could DEFINITELY use some work in this area. If I'm being honest, I have a bad habit of thinking negatively about my present circumstance. I find myself wishing that the current trial or waiting season I am in would be over- putting all my hope and happiness in passing a class, getting an A, having fun plans, checking off my to-do list, spending time with people I love -- all while looking flawless & having everyone think highly of me. The problem with this? It's not realistic. I'm not perfect. I'll make mistakes. Relationships are hard. Life happens. Other people's opinions are outside of my control.

Dr. Amen, a well-known psychiatrist who helps several celebrities manage their mental health, talks a lot about ANTS. No, not the kind that crawl on the ground. The ANTS he is referring to is Automatic Negative Thoughts. He recommends taking an audit of your negative thoughts, writing them down, and asking yourself if they are absolutely, 100% true. Then, if the though is not 100% always true, he advises you to flip the script. See how thinking the opposite of the thought makes you feel. Hint: It probably makes you feel a lot better.

Allow me to give you an example of an automatic negative thought I think way too often: "I don't have what it takes to do well in this class." Now, if I follow Dr. Amen's technique, I should address the thought in the following way. First, I should ask myself if it is 100% true. Is it 100% true that I do not have what it takes to do well in a certain class? No. I have several examples of myself doing well in a class when I thought I'd never make it (Chem *cough cough*). Additionally, if I need help, I can always go to office hours, ask a classmate for help, etc. Plus, even if I don't do well on an exam, it isn't a reflection of my worth as an individual. Rather, it's more a reflection of whether or not my study habits are sufficient for what the course requires. So, even if I do poorly on an exam, this will just motivate me to change my study habits in the future.

Next, I can think to myself the opposite of the negative thought: I do have what it takes to do well in this class. That thought makes me feel a lot better, and it's way more in line with the way God wants me to think. Not only that, but science supports the notion that positive thinking, hope, and optimism is correlated with higher academic success and life satisfaction. (1)

Although it might seem silly and time-consuming, I believe it's better to spend your time fixing your mind and thoughts on what is TRUE rather than letting it run wild and spiraling into a negative place. God thinks so too (Philippians 4:8).

* * * *

One last eyelash-related story before I wrap things up. This is actually where the title of this blog post came from. Just yesterday I was scrolling through Instagram stories and came across one of my favorite Christian influencer's story: Jeanine Amapola. She had received compliments on her eyelashes and linked the false ones she was wearing. I clicked on the link only to find out I had the exact same ones.

Chances are you know someone who has what you think you want. Maybe they have the "perfect" body, relationship, grades, house, etc. However, what you're really desiring isn't the thing itself; rather, it's the way you think having the thing will make you feel. A relationship will might you feel loved, the perfect body might make you feel at peace, good grades might help you feel secure, a nice house will might you feel accomplished. It's important to remember, however, that the Bible says that you already have all of these things in Christ. Accomplishing worldly things may fill you up for a second, but there is always more to do and more to attain and maintain.

Here's some examples of this concept in my own life:

• Waiting on the other side of earning the title of Valedictorian was even more academic challenges at Texas A&M University.

• Waiting on the other side of earning the Terry Scholarship was comparing myself and worrying what the other scholars thought of me.

• Waiting on the other side of earning the title of Star American in Agriscience is the fear of how I'll do at nationals.

Don't get me wrong, I am SO grateful for all of the blessings I just listed. My heart in sharing those things is to encourage you that no one's life is perfect, and hoping that a certain accomplishment, possession, or relationship will fix all your problems is just silly. However, the one thing that will always be worth your time is investing in your relationship with God, and hiding yourself in Him.

Waiting on the other side of trusting God is endless amount of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control.

As we close, I pray you mediate on the following verses:

Jeremiah 17:7-8:

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit”

Psalm 1:2-3

But whose delight is in the law of the Lord,

and who meditates on his law day and night.

That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither—

whatever they do prospers.

Prayer

Lord, Your Word is full of everything we are looking for. Thank you for it, and thank you for every good thing in our lives. Open our eyes to see the spiritual sickness within our hearts. Help us pull out the weeds in our mind, and help us see clearly. In the words of Jesus, lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil. You know the struggles each of us face, and you are not immune to the intricacies of our fears. Despite this, you still declare that we are not to be anxious about anything. Help us to achieve this Lord. Help us put on our helmet of salvation daily, and give us the strength to hold up our shield of faith. Help us walk daily in the fullness of all that You have for us, despite our circumstances. Help us rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in everything.

In Jesus' name I pray,

Amen <3

Works Cited

1. Rist, S., Meek, S., & Tucker, M. L. (n.d.). Accentuating the positive: Can student positivity withstand a pandemic. https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1296500.pdf