Sober
- Breanna Chavez
- Jul 2
- 4 min read
I recently posted a TikTok video of me on the way to a Hudson Westbrook concert, laughing so hard I was crying. The caption read, “Are you drunk?” followed by “God forbid a girl likes to laugh.” If you aren’t able to picture this in your mind, the trend is basically saying that the person in the video is acting so goofy, you’d think they were drunk.
I’m as sober as they come, but I’ve been known to act some kinda crazy when I have a crush on a guy. Cue Hudson Westbrook’s song “Sober”. Sadly, I have cried crocodile tears over boys who probably didn’t even know I had a crush on them.
On the surface, this sounds dramatic, but from a spiritual perspective, I’d argue that my grief is divine. God put a desire for marriage and kids in my heart, and each failed talking stage or crush that doesn’t like me back is but another delay in my dream.
I know I’m not alone. If no one else, my girl Hannah in the Bible gets it. 1 Samuel tells her story of struggle with infertility. She was slapped in the face with this reality every year as her husband made a sacrifice at the Shiloh sanctuary.
10 In her deep anguish, Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. 11 And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” 12 As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.” 15 “Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.” 17 Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.” 18 She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast. 19 Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. 20 So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,[b] saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”
I love that the Lord included this story in the Bible because it’s so relatable. Plus, Hannah and Breanna rhyme, so that’s a nice touch. Hannah had a dream, and she wasn’t afraid of looking dumb [or drunk LOL] for desiring it. The Bible says that her rival (her husband’s other wife) mocked her year after year, but Hannah didn’t give up.
She showed grit and grace through the grief until God finally granted her gift.
I’m sure Hannah had done all she could to try to become pregnant naturally, but the Lord closed her womb until the time was right. In a different (don’t worry, mom) but also somewhat similar way, no matter how hard I try, I have not been able to control the romantic realm of my life. Things can look perfect on paper, but when I take it to the Lord to proofread it, he always finds an error, highlights it, and ultimately decides to tear up the page and toss it to the side. I’m starting to realize that perhaps God wants to be the author, rather than the editor, of my love story. As difficult as it is, I’m trying to view my grief as a gift. It’s a reminder that God’s love lives inside of me. Marriage reflects the mystery of our Messiah, as it’s a miracle that we’ll never quite understand.
Take it from Hannah, Hudson, and me- pass the pen, and let Love Himself sweep you off your feet.
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” (1 Peter 5:8-9)
"Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed." (1 Peter 1:13)
“As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.” (2 Timothy 4:5)
Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 5:18-20)
Read/Listen:
🌐 Blog: https://baileenchavez.wixsite.com/happiesthere 🎙️Podcast: Happiest Here on Spotify
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