WDYM, Wednesday... Appearance
- Bailee Chavez
- May 28
- 4 min read
One thing that has given me a lot of peace since postgrad season began back in December 2024 is the verse 1 Timothy 6:7 (NIV), which states:
“For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.”
Looking back at my undergraduate experience, I spent so much time stressing over my outward appearance.
Post-grad has healed me from this in a way. As I stepped away from people my age and the fish-bowl that is college, the pressure I once felt has slowly dwindled.
A bad hair day or bad makeup day in college sometimes made me feel physically ill. This was because I genuinely thought that my beauty determined my fate.
If I looked “bad”… well, there goes my chances of meeting my future husband.
Though appearance does play a role in love, I wish I could go back and tell college Bai that:
A guy who is only looking at a girl’s outward appearance is not the guy that you want.
Honey, you’re not going to find your future husband in undergrad 🤣 (unless a secret admirer reveals himself in the future !!!! hahah) so please keep your priorities in check.
Dress for you, not the male gaze. This is the time of your life to focus on you. Wear what you want that is functional and feels good (& stay modest ofc).
“Unrecognizable? Ridiculous? A classic example of female objectification for the male gaze?”
Wednesday Addams
If you want to dress-up because it makes you feel good, then feel free. I do believe that dressing for success works.
But I don’t think our physical appearance should stress us out.
Fashion is a fun way to express yourself, but it is not a determinant of fate. It’s okay to choose functional over flashy. At the same time, it’s okay to have fun with your fits.
If yoga pants will help you be more comfortable over jean shorts, then wear them! If glasses will help you concentrate better because your contacts are acting up, then wear them! It’s these little details that I used to fret over.
“If they don’t like you with your glasses, then they can’t have you without them” is my new motto LOL.
But for real. I’d rather attract someone being completely myself than changing myself to get them.
You can only pretend so long, ya know?
Going back to the verse I mentioned—in terms of my appearance, this verse has brought me so much peace. Because it gives me permission to not put my worth into my appearance & to focus on the things that will last for eternity.
Do I want to be healthy & beautiful? Duh. I still try to look my best every day. I put on my makeup and do my hair.
But I do so because I think it’s fun.
How kind of God to let us dress up the house of our soul while we are here on earth.
Here’s the thing though…we can’t take this body with us to Heaven.
Gone are the days I stress about what guys think about my outward appearance & fearing that my outward appearance will prevent me from meeting my future husband.
I also remind myself that I don’t need a bunch of guys’ attention.
If God has a husband for me, then I only want his attention.
And if he’s from God, well, I trust God to help him be attracted to more than just my physical appearance.
If he’s from God, he will understand that we can take nothing out of this world & help me steward the things that truly matter.
Praise God for this privilege of getting to focus on things other than my physical appearance.
As someone with a history of an ED, my fashion & fitness were SO important to me. Not a bad thing to value—but the key to freedom from obsession with these things? Keeping it between you and God and trusting that He will give the man who is supposed to see you the ability to do so.
Miracle of sight definition: someone finds you attractive, worth pursuing, or desirable, based on the Lord giving that person eyes to see you, rather than being pursued based on your own control, manipulation, looks, or personality. "Please. Flattery will get you nowhere."
Wednesday Addams
No one but the Lord deserves the privilege of telling you who you are. The rest of us—well, we’re all just mere humans, at the end of the day. And honestly, how you look isn't anyone else’s business.
We all make mistakes, but you know who doesn’t? God.
And you know what He says about you?
📖 Scripture That Grounds Me
Song of Songs 4:7
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
Ephesians 2:10
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Jeremiah 29:11
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’”
Love,
Wednesday
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