The Third Thing

Hey friends! It’s been a while! I’m on Christmas break and just wanted to give you a little tip on how to survive living at home for the next couple of weeks. All the college kids probably know what I’m talking about, but as always, people from all stages of life can draw something from what I’m about to share!

For college kids, Christmas break and summer vacation can be interesting. One minute you’re living in total freedom away from your parents, and the next minute you're back in your hometown wondering what you should do with yourself. Don’t worry; I’ve got you. This is my third Christmas break home from college, and I’m happy to say that I’ve seen some major improvements in how I handle my free time. 

It sounds silly to “struggle” with free time, but it’s something I’ve dealt with since the seventh grade. It’s during downtime that you have more mental space for more thoughts to cross your mind- for better or for worse. I’ll give you an example of what I’m talking about. During the summer between 6th and 7th grade, I remember a wave of anxiety coming over me as I began to believe the lie that because I had such a long break from school, I wouldn’t be able to get back in the groove of things once school started back up, meaning that I was bound for failure. How sad, right? As a seventh grader, I had no reason to feel such a weight on my shoulders. Fast forward to when school actually did start. I remember it being the second week of school, and things were still feeling pretty new. Although everyone goes through an adjustment period as they get used to new students, new schedules, and new classmates, this sense of newness was uncomfortable for me, and I began to feel anxious again. 

I didn’t know it at the time, but this entire scenario would come back with a vengeance once I started college. I remember crying one of the nights before I left for college, thinking that I wouldn’t be smart enough to pass my classes. Once I got to college, the newness of it all was too much for me to handle, and I let my anxious thoughts run my life completely. 

I knew things had to change, and God did too. Although I struggled more mentally than most kids do their first semester of college, I made it out just fine, and I now have a bigger heart for helping others through the ups and downs of starting new things- especially when the newness comes with more freedom or free time. 

I’m happy to report that this Christmas break has gone surprisingly well. I've found that life is a lot more fun when you choose to spend your time doing life-giving activities. However, I know that whenever you’re feeling lost in life and like you have yet to find your purpose, everything seems overwhelming. So, if I had to give one piece of advice to someone feeling stuck in life, it would be this: have a third thing! 

You probably aren’t sure what I’m talking about. Surprise, surprise, this concept was inspired by a TikTok I saw recently, which talked about having a “third place”. Essentially, it’s a place other than work or home that you regularly attend. This allows you to create a sense of community and feel a sense of belonging if that is what you desire. This could be the gym, church, the library, a club, a coffee shop, or even the grocery store. A similar concept applies to having a third thing. There are two things that pretty much everyone has in common: family/friends and work/school. Sure, these things can make for some entertaining conversations at times, but maybe you’ve found that when you come from college or work, you run out of things to talk about with your parents, cousins, aunts, etc. This is where the third thing comes in!

For instance, my sister is pretty good about having a “third thing”. In fact, she has about 5+ things 😅. One thing she recently started is her cricut business. She monograms everything from t-shirts, ring dunk pitchers, hats, cups, and more. Her cricket business, baileenicoledesigns, allows her to bond with our family in many ways. They can ask how her business is going, if she needs more supplies, what new skills she’s learned, etc.

To be honest, I sort of struggled to find my third thing. As a twin (and just a human being in general), it’s easy for me to fall into a comparison trap and feel like I have nothing of my own to offer the world. The Lord has been super kind, however, in showing me just how intentionally He created me. For instance, being a Terry Scholar mentor, getting an A in Anatomy, and making an A on my Food Management group project are all examples of the Lord’s faithfulness in my life this semester. In each of the aforementioned scenarios, I felt incredibly inadequate and often compared myself to my sister. However, by staying true to myself and trusting who the Lord made me to be, I was able to succeed in each endeavor. 

This summer and over Christmas break, I have picked up reading and watching movies as a hobby. These things may sound silly or unimpressive, but I didn’t grow up reading & watching all the classics, so I actually have a lot of catching up to do. For instance, if you follow me on social media, you have probably seen that I recently started reading/watching the Twilight series  This allows for great conversations, as my family members want to know what I think about their favorite characters, how far along I am in the show/series, what I thought of a specific movie, etc. A similar phenomenon occurred this summer when I watched The Bachelorette, The Summer I Turned Pretty, and a few timeless romcoms. I will cherish the evenings I spent in the living room with my mom and sister watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, The Wedding Planner, Sweet Home Alabama, My Best Friend’s Wedding, and more. 

I do have a word of warning, however, regarding your "third thing". Try not to make it something destructive. Sounds like common sense, but a lot of people’s “third thing” is something unproductive or draining. Ideally, your third thing should be life-giving and lead to fulfilling conversations. It shouldn't be a hindrance to your ability to flourish in life. Examples of negative "third things" would be eating disorders, gossip, addictions, unhealthy romantic relationships, and anything else that is harmful to you or others. 

I hope this provided you with some comfort if you’re feeling alone and/or some guidance if you’re feeling lost. Remember that one thing you can always run back to is the Lord. Honestly, He should be your "first thing" Proverbs 3:5-6 says,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

I challenge you to go on a journey to find out what this verse means for you. Bailee and I have devoted this blog to sharing what God means to us, but at the end of the day, everyone has an individual relationship with God, and I find that to be incredibly beautiful. Feel free to share what the Lord has done in your life recently, and I’ll be praying for you all!

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PS!!

Since watching Twilight, I’ve obviously had to do a deeper dive of the characters. You know, look up past interviews, see what they are doing now, etc. I have to say, although I was originally team Edward, Jacob may have my heart. For one, he’s more attractive, and secondly, he’s doing some really meaningful work nowadays. He married a “normal” girl (aka not famous) and started a podcast called The Squeeze where he and his wife discuss mental health. You should definitely check it out! Fun fact, his wife is also named Taylor LOL. Their whole outlook on life and fame is truly a breath of fresh air. Let me know if you’re team Edward or team Jacob!

Love,

Breanna Chavez