The Fear of Failure

Hello friends!

Today I'd like to talk about the fear of failure. We all experience it; whether it's in our work, academics, familial roles, friendships, relationships, etc. Last week, I talked about our greatest desire, which I believe is to be unconditionally loved. The opposite of unconditional love is conditional love, which I would define as a love that is determined by whether you succeed or fail at something.

When I think about failures in my life, a few scenarios come to mind, but today I want to discuss something that happened when I was a freshman in high school.

It was our first high school invitational FFA Quiz contest. My sister and I had just won state in Greenhand Quiz the year prior and were now competing in the Senior FFA Quiz division. Although our prior accomplishment should have been an encouragement of the abilities that God has given us, unfortunately, that was not how we saw the situation. Instead, we put an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves to live up to the standard of achievement we had laid out for ourselves at such a young age. The pressure was too much to handle, and we literally told our Ag teacher that we no longer wanted to compete in the contest. Thankfully, our mom and Ag teacher convinced us to remain on the team; however, our anxiety was so severe that we physically could not study for the contest like we usually would, and the thing that we were afraid of ended up coming true at our first invitational of the year- someone scored higher than us. Although this was definitely not an ideal scenario, I think this experience was vital to my development as a person. Even now I look back on this day and realize that life is so much bigger than the small things we worry about on a daily basis. When I was in high school, I found my worth and identity solely in grades and my performance at FFA contests. Because I wanted to earn the Terry Foundation Scholarship, I thought that any failure would deter the scholarship committee from choosing me. Knowing what I know now, I realize that the attainment of that scholarship is ultimately in the Lord's hands. My responsibility was to simply do my best and allow God's plan to unravel before me.

The crazy thing is that I ended up accomplishing every single goal I set out for myself in high school: I was Valedictorian, head cheerleader, won nationals in the Senior Quiz, and even earned the Terry Foundation Scholarship at Texas A&M University. I wish I could go back and give little Breanna a hug, and tell her that everything was going to work out more beautifully than I could have hoped. However, I would also tell her to stop believing the lie that a perfect life is waiting for me on the other side of these accomplishments. Although the big moments where I find out I've accomplished something great are so fun, I truly believe this same level of joy can be found in our everyday lives if we set our minds on the majesty of Christ.

Christ can minister to us through any situation, and even the simplest of moments can be filled with joy. For instance, (I know this is random, but stay with me) I've recently taken the initiative to start doing more of my own laundry. Washing my clothes is a mundane task that I could easily dread, but I like to make it as fun as possible by conversing with whoever is in the laundry room. This past Sunday a girl that I mentored through the Terry Foundation interview process was there, and it was such a full circle moment because not even a year ago she was stressing about her interview. We talked about the classes we are currently taking, and naturally, I told her how stressed I was about anatomy. She encouraged me by saying that if anyone could be successful in the class, she believes it would be me. These words truly meant so much to me! Although this interaction was nowhere near on the same level as winning a National Championship or earning a full-ride scholarship, it was similar in the way that it reminded me that God and other people see potential in me.

You see, there will inevitably be days where you experience disappointment or failure. Maybe these are big failures where you lose an important contest or fail a test, or maybe you're just in a bit of a slump. If you believe the lie that failure is the root of all evil, then you will live your life in fear. This fear will inevitably stop you from being the version of yourself that God created you to be. However, you don’t have to live this way. When you have Christ in you, each moment is valuable, and nothing is wasted. You won’t always win the contest, ace the test, or win the award, but you will always have God. Because of my relationship with God, I can be excited about the days ahead rather than dreading them. When fear is looming over my head, my world is dark, but when I let the light of Christ into my mind, it’s like I see the world through new eyes. It’s truly the best thing ever.

I hope you get to experience this for yourself. I pray you allow God to shine light into the areas of life where you’re afraid of failing. Remember that you’re not powerful enough to mess up God’s plan!

Matthew 6:33 Amplified Bible (AMP)

But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.

Love,

Breanna Chavez

References

1. Marcuap M. Instagram. August 27, 2023. Accessed September 13, 2023. https://www.instagram.com/instagram/reels/.