Scared to Struggle

Hey guys!

This will be the last blog post from me for February. Posting weekly has helped me seek the Lord more and think about what He is speaking to my mind and heart. It has also helped me find meaning in things that happen in my everyday life.

Last night, as I was doing my anatomy homework, I was also listening to the Call Her Holy podcast by Laura Elderidge and Nicoletta Bradley. These women have spoken so much truth into my life, and I'm so thankful for them.

One thing that Laura talks about frequently is fighting for your faith. We each have something unique that we struggle with. For me, a few of my struggles include overthinking and worry, which can lead to symptoms of anxiety and depression. Laura preaches that each one of us are in an active battle for our hearts and minds. The enemy wants to take us down so that we will be less effective ambassadors for Christ. However, some of us aren't even fighting. We aren't holding up shields of faith or armoring up with the belt of truth and the breastplate of righteousness.

An example of this occurred in my own life this week as I struggled with discouragement regarding my grades. To conquer this, I should have gone to war and fought my negative thoughts with scripture. But instead, I let my thoughts get the best of me and let the enemy lie to me. This had such a negative effect on my mind, body, and spirit that I felt physically ill and had to take a mental health day. Nothing wrong with this; I needed the rest. But I could've rested peacefully rather than in a pit of decision paralysis and despair.

Laura says that sometimes you have to fight harder to believe the truths that you already know. Furthermore, having to fight for your faith doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. In the same way that you might struggle in a certain class more than others and have to work harder to get a decent grade, you will also fight harder to overcome certain thought patterns and sins. You see, the enemy attacks us all at different times and in different ways, which means we must always be ready to fight with the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God.

Take right now, for instance. I am feeling tempted to worry about how I am going to get everything done. I have a nutrition education pamphlet and resume due on Sunday, a biochemistry quiz on Monday, and an essay and Anatomy II practical on Wednesday. I'm literally just a girl, and this to-do list would likely stress anyone out. I'm not sure how it's going to work out, but the Bible says not to worry. Even though it's incredibly difficult, I am choosing to fight for my faith in this moment. Here is the truth:

• God has brought me to this season of life; therefore, He is not going to abandon me.

• I am choosing to trust that He will multiply my time and fill me with energy and motivation to learn to the best of my ability.

• I am choosing to believe that the Lord is fighting for me, and He is moving levers that I cannot see.

• I am choosing to believe that God loves me no matter what, and He has amazing plans for my life.

• I am choosing to release any anger and guilt I feel towards myself and others.

• I am choosing to accept God's peace in this moment.

Chances are though, after you stop worrying about one thing, something else will come up. The battle plan is the same. Keep fighting the good fight of faith. God is fighting for you as well, but He invites you into the fight because He knows it will strengthen you on this side of Heaven and allow you to earn eternal rewards.

I think a lot of us, myself included, are scared to struggle. We might be fearful of a certain class, opportunity, relationship, or circumstance because we do not want to be faced with uncertainty or our shortcomings. That's natural, but everything worth having in life comes with a risk or trade-off. Knowing this might help you face your days with more courage- knowing that struggle is not sin, and failure is not final.

God 100% wants you to live in 100% freedom. You think He sent His son to die on a cross just so you could live in a perpetual state of anxiety, worry, and all kinds of other negative emotions? Absolutely not. God wants you to have joy that transcends your circumstances. This means you have permission to have a good day even when you fail the test, go through a breakup, get into an argument with a friend, don't make the team, get rejected, or simply feel down for no specific reason.

It's also important to remember that some days are harder than others. For instance, I tend to struggle more on weekends- Saturdays specifically. However, I shouldn't resent Saturdays or weekends in general because these are the moments where my faith grows the most. And I shouldn't despair because Sunday is always just around the corner. Fun fact, my very first encounter with the Lord (that I can remember) happened on a Sunday, but it never would've happened if it hadn't been for the events that occurred on Saturday.

So on Saturdays, or whatever time is the most difficult for you, don't let the enemy win the day. Spoiler alert, God has already won the eternal battle, and if you've accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you're on the winning team. This should relieve a lot of pressure.

But if you're anything like me, you want specifics. Yes, it's so amazing that my eternity is secure, but what does that mean for me today, as a college student, or whatever season of life you are in. I got you :)

• As a college student, you are free to do your best in your classes without tying your worth to your grades because God has a plan no matter what.

• As a mom, you're free to love and care for your children in the best way you know while also being at peace because you know that God loves them more than you ever could.
  

There are so many more examples, but those are the main ones that come to mind. Ultimately, there is nothing that can separate you from the love of God.

I hope this encouraged you in some way. If it did, let me know how :)