Pretty Isn't Pretty Enough

Hey friends! Today I'll be talking about something that most girls can relate to- wanting to feel pretty. Not only feel pretty, but be recognized for our beauty. Sure, some girls are more girly than others, but there's something about God's design for biblical femininity that drives girls to pursue prettiness. 

This is a beautiful phenomenon, and it’s intentional. God had everything planned out perfectly in the Garden of Eden. Then, as we know, sin entered our world, and things haven’t been the same since. While Eve used to roam the garden, full of confidence and free of shame, most of us cannot relate. Even world-famous pop stars, renowned for their talent and beauty, are no strangers to the feeling of inadequacy. Take Olivia Rodrigo’s song, pretty isn’t pretty, for example. Let’s look at some of the lyrics together:

Line 1: Bought a bunch of makeup, tryna cover up my face

Line 2: I started to skip lunch, stopped eating cake on birthdays

Line 3: Bought a new prescription to try and stay calm

Line 4: 'Cause there's always something missing

Line 5: There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong

Line 6: When pretty isn't pretty enough, what do you do?

Line 7: 'Cause pretty isn't pretty enough anyway

Line 8: You can win the battle, but you'll never win the war

Line 9: You fix the things you hated, and you'd still feel so insecure

Unfortunately, I relate to these lyrics, as do you most likely. But before we wallow in our sadness, let’s remember that God can make beauty from ashes, and that the enemy doesn’t have the final say- God does. 

First, we can find beauty in the fact that if you’ve ever felt less than, you’re not alone. I’ll tell a little bit of my story, as it relates to each line of the song. 

Lines 1-2: I wear makeup every single day. Mostly because I want to, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hide my face back in college when I would leave my dorm without my makeup on. 

Lines 3-5: This past summer was the best summer of my life, from the outside looking in. I aced my summer class, stood by my best friend on her wedding day, had an amazing 21st birthday, went to a concert, and did some traveling. On the inside, however, I was far from thriving. I was riddled with anxiety about pretty much everything. Just like Olivia, I don’t eat cake at birthday parties (not necessarily a bad thing, but it does have to do with wanting to be pretty). And I started taking anxiety and depression medication "to try to stay calm." .

Line 5: Fortunately, I’ve never really been one to nitpick myself in the mirror, but I know this is a struggle for some girls. I tend to spend a little more time in my head than staring in the mirror (contrary to what this guy thinks HAHA)

Line 6-9: In my opinion, I’m about as pretty as I'm ever gonna get. Yet, I still don’t have a boyfriend. Why? Because pretty isn’t enough. Romantic relationships, especially as Christian ones, require divinity, not just beauty. Furthermore, love is based on more than physical appearance. I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t always think this was the case. I was envious of the pretty girls growing up, and I wondered what it would be like to have a guy’s approval.

It’s natural to want to be desirable. However, just like with every other desire on this side of heaven, it will never be fully satisfied. Although I've finally reached my goal of being called "pretty," I still struggle mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and I always will on this side of heaven.

Even marriage can’t fully quench our desire to be fully known and fully loved. If marriage were the answer, divorce would never happen. And if being pretty was enough, Zayn Malik and Bella Hadid would have never split up. IYKYK.

****

So, where do we go from here? We’ve established that we all know what it feels like to be insecure. But we can’t stay there. The Bible tells us to take our thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. So let's read Psalm 139 together, shall we?

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God  How vast is the sum of them. 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand when I awake, I am still with you.

Sadie Robertson discussed this passage in a sermon that's been on my mind lately. The only explanation for this is that it’s the Holy Spirit. I haven’t watched this sermon in YEARS, but I remember her asking a question that has stuck with me: Why is it so easy for us to believe the words God speaks over our children, but not ourselves? Sadie was pregnant with her first daughter when she gave this message. Although I don’t have children, one of my greatest joys is watching my baby cousin grow up. In my eyes, she is perfect. I literally cried this past weekend just thinking about the day when she realizes that the world is broken. It breaks my heart to think that one day she will look in the mirror and not see the beautiful girl that I see. She, too, may one day deal with an eating disorder, anxiety, or depression. She, too, will one day be tempted to believe the lies of the enemy. For now, though, she is still in the garden. She loves her some apples, but she has yet to taste the apple from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Praise God.

***

One of my favorite pastimes is going into bookstores. Whether or not I buy a book is somewhat irrelevant. Oftentimes, just the act of scrolling through the shelves is enough to lift my spirits. I have also gotten in the habit of going into the devotional section, picking up a book that piques my interest, and reading a few pages to see if it’s worth the purchase. Just last week I did this, and here’s what I found from the devotional called “God Didn’t Make Us to Hate Us”:

“Consider: after Eve and Adam eat the fruit- the fruit that gives them knowledge they think will make them like God- the first thing they do is cover up their bodies. The first thing they do with all their newfound, Godlike knowledge is not name the animals (they’ve already done that) or explore the Garden’s wild depths (already done that), or even cling to each other in passion (already done that). No, with their new knowledge, they cover themselves up . . . . As I write this, my daughter does not yet have knowledge of . . . shame. She has not yet faced the serpents of this world who will tempt her into thinking it would be good to be like God. . . . And one of the terrible knowledge I bear is the knowledge that her time in the Garden is limited."

I couldn't have said it better myself. The next time you are beating yourself up, remember that you, too, were once in the Garden. I don't think it's a mistake that God invites us to be child-like in His presence. He sees us in the same way we see our children (or future children): perfect & blameless.

***

I’ll end this post with a cheesy caption I wrote as a senior in high school on my healthy living Instagram account: 

“For the girl who feels alone, this is for you. (Save this for when the storms of life come).

#1 You aren't alone. I'm right there with you. You’re well aware that life is full of ups and downs, and so am I. God sees potential in you, and if you make Him your strength, you will have the courage to get up every day and be who he made you to be. 

#2. You are loved. So incredibly loved by the one who made you and by the people in your life. God has carefully placed people in your life. Don’t think where you are is by accident. 

#3: You are normal. Enough Said. 

That was written two days after my 18th birthday. Today, 2 months before my 22nd birthday, the words still ring true. 

I hope this encouraged you.

Love, Breanna Chavez <3