My Faith as of Late

Hi blog readers! I have many things on the brain this week, so I thought it would be best to use headers to separate what I’ve been learning! Hope you enjoy :) 

Remembering 

I forget how good God’s Word is. Reading it is a breath of fresh air, and I find myself amazed at the freedom it offers. 

In terms of spiritual disciplines, I feel I am strongest in prayer. I am always talking to God. I love that He is always accessible. I can send up a prayer no matter where I am and no matter what I am going through. It’s basically a reflex reaction now. 

I bring God into every aspect of my life through prayer and petition- telling Him all my requests. I see and experience God everywhere- in the classroom, walking on campus, in the quiet moments, in the loud moments, at home, in the car, etc. 

The discipline of reading the Bible is something that has been harder for me to prioritize while being a student. It’s not something I will let Satan make me feel shameful for, though. It's simply something I can grow in.

Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

Psalm 34:5 (NIV)

I am confident in my relationship with the Lord because I know His love is not predicated on how much I do. Still, I was reminded of the value of the Bible as I began reading 1 John this week.

Spirit of Rejection

At the beginning of this week, I felt the Lord put on my heart the word Spirit. 

Specifically, He put 2 Corinthians 3:17 on my heart, and I even changed my Instagram bio to include this. 

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

(NIV)

Later in the week, I saw an Instagram caption that grabbed my attention. 

(There is no doubt that social media has helped forged my faith in a positive way. Although demonized, when used correctly, social media can be such a blessing. For me, it has given me so many amazing role models and people of faith to look up to!) 

The caption talked about something called the spirit of rejection- something I hadn’t heard of before but that struck a cord in my heart.

This is because, although some might perceive me as an accomplished individual, I have absolutely experienced a fair amount of rejection. 

I was interested to see what the girl had to say about this. 

The caption detailed how she experienced so much rejection leading up to meeting her now husband. Caption below by Lexie Thiery.

Every single relationship I was in, I was cheated on. Of course I thought the common denominator was me. I put my entire value in boys would want me, but not all of me. I wouldn’t give them what they actually wanted.

As I grew in the knowledge of Jesus and the longing for the emptiness that was inside me to be filled with something that was lasting, I decided to date someone who told me they loved Jesus. Turns out, he loved Him with his lips but not his heart and he too, cheated on me.

I found myself consumed with the spirit of rejection. How unloveable must I be, for every person I gave my heart to to think I wasn’t enough?

How unworthy must I have been to feel like I did everything I could do to earn acceptance and the love I desperately wanted, to find out it still wasn’t good enough.

My senior year of high school I found myself being radically changed by Jesus. I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but He was flipping my entire life upside as I yielded more of my life to Him. I deeply wanted to be loved but not by men. I had been hearing about this man Jesus who bled for me. This man Jesus who knew everything about me, EVERYTHING, and thought I was so valuable that His thoughts for me outnumbered the sand. Everything I had been searching for in men, I found to be perfect in this man, Jesus. His love couldn’t fail me. It wasn’t dependent on my ability to keep His interest. It wasn’t dependent on anything I did or didn’t do. It couldn’t change. It couldn’t go away. So I gave my heart to Him. Because I believed if He loved me before I even loved Him, I’d never met a love like that. And He radically changed my life. He gave me NEW life. He filled me with Himself and changed me to love the things He loves. He saved me.

And not only that, but He showed me what it was like to be pursued in Love. Not for selfish gain. But for love. And He used my now husband, to show me that. Never had I been pursued in the way my husband pursued me. Never had I been valued in the way he valued me. This man was different, and for the first time in my life, I experienced what it was like to be loved with godly love.

Link to post: https://www.instagram.com/p/C6_4Pjmu39F/

It’s a beautiful story truly!

When I began reading 1 John chapter 4 this week, I saw the word Spirit yet again!!

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit [a] of truth and the spirit of falsehood.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

I find this passage interesting because the beginning talks about testing the different spirits, such as the spirit of the antichrist and spirit of falsehood vs the spirit of Truth, while the end talks about God’s commands for loving others. 

The 2 passages are linked because, in order to love others well, we must operate out of the Spirit of the Lord. 

Yet another lesson on love from the Lord (this is my word of the year as discussed in the latest post) !! But this time, discussing the spirits that accompany and don’t accompany love.

From the Moody Bible Commentary:

I was inspired to reflect on how a particular spirit- the spirit of rejection- has influenced my life and the lives of those around me. 

Here is what I came to the conclusion of. 

The spirit of rejection says you’re not making the grades you wish because you're stupid. 

The Spirit of the Lord says you’re not making the grades you wish because you’re still learning.

The spirit of rejection says that guy doesn’t like you because you’re just not good enough. 

The Spirit of the Lord says that guy doesn’t like you because you are not His best for each other. 

The spirit of rejection says that good things only happen for other people, but not for you.

The Spirit of the Lord says that His plans for you are unique and special in their own way. 

The spirit of rejection says that you blew your chance.

The Spirit of the Lord says that charity is chasing you.

The spirit of rejection vs the Spirit of the Lord can best be summed up in this : 

spirit of rejection: “Try harder, do more, fix it yourself.”

Spirit of the Lord: “It’s not about anything you can do — it’s about what Jesus has already done.” On the cross, He paid for all of the ways we try to feed and fix ourselves. We strive for a new identity and name. But Jesus gives us his own.

from:

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/my-real-recovery-from-anorexia

The bottom line is that the Spirit of the Lord will lead you places the spirit of rejection, or any other spirit, never could. 

Seasons & Struggles

I have noticed different struggles in different seasons of my life- i.e. the thick of exam season, the summer months, times of routine, and times of spontaneity all bring challenges (and blessings) of different kinds. 

What seems like the biggest deal in the world during a particular season is almost always washed away with the arrival of a new season. 

Many times, the devil has tried to convince me that earning a certain grade in class, boy’s attention, accolades, etc. is the end all be all. 

But through time, I have learned that success and failure are never final. There is always another thing to succeed in or fail at. Thus, it is the courage to continue that counts most. 

The things other than Christ that promise completeness are only temporary bandaids that can't truly cover our deeper wounds. Nothing earthly is strong enough to completely rid us of our unrighteousness or cure us of worry.

Despite the promise of society that success can cure stress,

I have watched those I deem as incredibly intelligent still struggle with insecurity and anxiety. 

I have watched my people in relationships still struggle with identity. 

I have watched those with the highest of achievements still feel unfulfilled. 

It’s almost as if nothing in this world can truly satisfy. 

Newsflash- that’s exactly the case.

How uncreative satan is. He plays the same track over and over, and I refuse to spend my life going in a million circles. 

When one finally understands their value in Christ separate from external additions is when they are truly free, I believe. 

It really is true that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 

Environment

I am currently reading Jeanine Amapola's book called Becoming Happy and Healthy. In her book, she talks about how our environment also affects a lot of our desires. She says that when she lived in California, she found herself very focused on her career because that is what everyone else cared about. On the other hand, when she lived in Dallas, she found herself thinking more about marriage because that is what many people cared about there. 

I have experienced this in my own life as well.

While at college, I find myself caring heavily over my academics. My brilliant peers and professors have pushed me to be a better student. 

Transparently, I felt as if I was not enough at times.

Meanwhile, back at home, it is easy for me to believe that I am too much or not enough in a different way.

In an environment that is not entirely focused on academics, it is easy to believe I am not relaxed enough, not spontaneous enough, or perhaps even too ambitious or driven.  

Still, this environment has pushed me to let go and have more fun.

Luckily, time has taught me that the best life holds a balance of intensity and ease, fun and work, joy and pain. 

Jesus models this beautiful balance well, for He is both conquering Lion and the bleeding Lamb.

There is a time and place for both sides of Him and both sides of us. 

Here are some slides from an Instagram page called “Cleerely Stated” that depict what I am saying: 

Here is an excerpt from Jeanine’s Book that also explains my point well:

"Yes, we are shaped by our surroundings, but you have the power to choose who you surround yourself with and what thoughts you allow to run rampant. It's inevitable that culture will try to set the tone for your life, but ultimately you get to decide if you will let culture dictate your life- or you will let God do it. It may be beneficial to step out of your surroundings every now and then to shift your perspective and get a fresh one."

^^^ I have found this to be true! During final exams, Breanna and I took a trip home. The new environment refreshed us and gave us the strength we needed to finish the semester in a way that staying at college couldn’t have.

Magic in the Margin 

I have recently been feeling so grateful for life. I am grateful for the hard moments that have taught me that I can do hard things, and I am thankful for the happy moments that have taught me that, although not everything will be easy, not everything will be hard. 

As a young 20-year-old, Lord willing, I have a lot of life ahead of me and many milestones that have yet to be reached. 

Although it is tempting to rush to those milestones & covet those who are reaching them before me, I find myself grateful for the margin I have right now. 

How cool is it that God has crafted all our stories differently.

The margin is allowing me to better get to know myself & the Lord. I am learning to be present and understand my value, not as a destination, but as a lifelong companion.

The margin has also served as a mirror.

No doubt many people my age are looking for a relationship. 

Relationships are good, but I think many people in our culture get hyper-fixated on what another person can give them and forget that relationships are a two-way street. 

In the same way that a significant other can bless you, you, too, should be a blessing to them. 

Prior to entering a relationship is a great time to identify what you want in a partner and then use that list as a mirror, asking yourself if you display the positive traits you are looking for. 

The margin also gives one the chance to walk by faith and not by sight- the truest form of faith in my opinion. 

We may not currently see a job opportunity, way out of a struggle, Godly spouse, etc., but what a wonderful opportunity to display blind faith and to be excited to see how God will work things out. 

What We Are Promised

I currently do not know how many things in my life will pan out, but I do have a promise from God. And it’s not that I will have a challenge-free life. It's that He is working all things out for my good.

I have a friend who recently was discouraged because she was hopeful she would find her future husband through a scholarship program she is a part of.

Her time in the program is coming to a close, and no candidates are seeming to appear. Thus, feelings of disappointment have shown up.

When she expressed her concern to me, I told her the truth- that her scholarship promised her money, not a husband. 

She laughed and said she actually didn’t know where she got her false promise from or why she was banking on it.

The same can be true in our relationship with God. 

If we are not careful, we can get what God promised and what we desire mixed up.

That’s not to say that they can’t overlap. My friend could very well meet her husband as a part of her scholarship, but that is not a guarantee. 

Likewise, we will experience many blessings from God, but exactly how we will be blessed is not totally clarified. And it will actually be different for everyone. 

He is good and so are His ways, but they may not be good in the way we originally expected. Keep an open mind.

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That's all I have for this week!

A few farewell reminders:

If you are going through it this week, rest in the fact that other people have known your pain, including Jesus. Jesus always offers a way out so that you can endure. 

Also, remember that the moment we take our eyes off Jesus and move them onto other people- with the spirit of comparison at the root of our hearts- is the moment we fall.

Love,

Bailee Chavez 💌