Miss Possessive (WDYM, Wednesday?)

Bailee Chavez
Jun 11
3 min read

One of my favorite songs is “Miss Possessive” by pop star Tate McRae.

In the song, she expresses how she doesn’t want to share her man with anyone. He is hers, and she’s serious about protecting their relationship.

While I don’t have a boyfriend to be possessive over, I would say I’m possessive in other ways.

I’ve learned to be possessive with my life. Allow me to explain.

I’ve worked hard to build my faith, career, friendships, hobbies, and self-image into what they are today.

It’s safe to say I’ve had my ups and downs and that I’m still in a state of becoming. Still, I’m finally at a place where I can say I’m proud of who God is making me to be.

I have peace about where I’m at and where I’m headed—even with all the whys, hows, and what-ifs that still exist.

I’m not the same girl I was in high school, or even earlier in college—and maybe I’m not the same girl I’ll be in the years to come.

That used to stop me from writing.

What if I change my mind?

Maybe I will.

Maybe I’m meant to.

But with God as my anchor, and with my heart remaining humble, honest, and teachable, I don’t believe I’ll regret sharing my life journey.

And right now, I’m feeling very possessive over my life.

One thing I used to be super lenient about was who I would let in. Transparently, I wanted a relationship so badly that I would try to make it work with anyone who seemed “okay.”

But I want to spread the word:

It’s okay to be picky.

Not because you’re better than anyone—but because protecting your faith and your life is important.

As an almost 22-year-old, I do wonder when I’ll meet my person.

And I used to be afraid.

Afraid to say no to my “soulmate.”

Afraid to not be in the right place at the right time.

Afraid of somehow missing out.

But now I’m at a place where I trust God to write my story and bring it to life—regardless of my flaws.

Sure, a lot of people my age are getting engaged, married, and having kids.

It would be easy to feel like God has forgotten about me.But I know in my soul—He hasn’t.He isn’t like that.

I know I have to wait on Him and not rush things.

Because I don’t want anything that’s not from Him.

There’s too much on the line now:

My faith
My family relationships
My career
My calling

I no longer want to compromise any of these just to prove something to people who barely know me.

A lot of people have asked me why I’m not in a relationship.

I give them a little spiel about how I’ve been busy with school and work and how I just haven’t met the right person.

Sometimes I’m met with understanding.

Sometimes, with judgment or unsound advice… even from Christians, friends, and family. (Job went through the same thing when his faith was tested!)

But that’s okay. Because there’s no way I could explain the years of ups and downs my heart and head have been through, the call God has on my life, or my vision for the future, in just a few minutes.

So I let them say their piece, without letting it steal my peace.

Here’s me saying:

It’s okay to be picky.

It’s okay to be protective.

It’s even okay to be possessive over your life.

Your soul and your state of being are so important.

You don’t have to follow the crowd.

You don’t have to compare yourself to others.

You don’t have to rush.

You don’t have to compromise your faith.

God has an incredible plan laid out for you—and it looks different than the people around you.

Even mine looks different from my twin sister’s.