Love and Other Words

Hi friends! 

I'm writing this to you from work. It's my attempt to pursue happiness in the midst of the mundane. I wanted so badly to graduate from A&M. I specifically remember sitting in an Anatomy II lab, ranting with my group members about how we would much rather be doing monotomous work rather than taking quizzes over mystery content- okay, it wasn't mystery content, but it sure felt like it. In college, I also despised doing ADIME notes, which is a detailed method that dietitians use to document their notes.

Fast forward to now. I get to write the simplest of nutrition notes, and although the types of appointments I complete vary, the system remains the same. I ask questions, counsel, load the card, write a nutrition note, and wait for my next appointment. 

Basically, nothing about my job is hard. Though I longed to be where I am, now that I'm here, I'm ready for the next season. Is that a bad thing? Yes and No. Yes, in the sense that a negative mindset prevents me from seeing the blessings all around me. No, in the sense that I can be excited for what's to come, and even make small changes in my daily routine to make my life more enjoyable. 

One thing that never fails to make me happy is creating content for Happiest Here. So, that's exactly what I'm doing. Hope you enjoy:)

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Today, I want to share some things that the Lord has been teaching me through counseling, change, and children. 

Let's get into it. 

First- counseling. It's not something a lot of people I know talk about. That's understandable, as not everything needs to be broadcast, but if I can be a light to someone in the darkness, then I want to do just that. Seeing a sister in Christ in counseling would have given me the confidence to reach out sooner + would have helped me feel less shame about needing support. That's why I choose to share <3.

Why am I in counseling, you might ask? A few reasons. Number one, it gives me something to look forward to. I am strategic with when I schedule my sessions, and I will typically use it as motivation to get me through a hard week. Secondly, it gives me a place to process things with an outside party. Sure, you can sure your struggles with friends, but it takes a while to get to that place of vulnerability, and sometimes you don't want everyone knowing your business. 

For example, when I first started counseling, I was mainly stressed about school, my sister, and my singleness. My mom was as supportive as she could be, but she could only say, "It's all gonna be okay" so many times before both of us got annoyed. Additionally, although I could bond with my friends about the struggles of school, I couldn't really get into the specifics of my spirals because, quite frankly, they have their own issues to worry about. Finally, I can't really rant about Bailee to my friends because we share friends, and they don't understand twin dynamics. 

All of this led me to hesitantly look into the counseling services offered at TAMU during my junior year of college. I was at my breaking point, but like always, the Lord met me in my mess. To me, counseling allows me to bring the things I bury to the surface and talk about them in a safe space. Whether it's family frustrations, body image struggles, faith-related topics, situationships, or singleness, my therapist Tara is there to help me feel seen and heard. I am thankful to have found a therapist who is also a twin. She truly understands me, and I imagine we will continue meeting for years to come. 

There are probably three classes of people reading this: 

Those who enjoy therapy and have the means to meet with someone, but feel guilty about the financial investment. Here's how I think about it. Counseling is helping me sort through my shii before entering a romantic relationship and before I become a mom. Building healthy habits is important, and I want my kids to see me taking care of myself one day. Plus, as my mom put it, "What is money if you are miserable?" I had a full-ride scholarship and have my "dream job", yet I am still pretty miserable sometimes. Why not utilize the resources God gave me to become a better version of myself? If meeting with my therapist is doing more good than bad, I think God approves- especially if it's helping me reflect the heart of Jesus better to my friends, family, coworkers, etc.

Those who think they would benefit from therapy but don't have the means to meet with someone. 

This is definitely a tough spot to be in. I think the worst two feelings in the world are feeling helpless and hopeless. The good news is - you aren't either of those things. There are people and resources available to you that you may not have even thought of. I'll list some here: 

• Reach out to a local church to see if anyone would be willing to meet with you. (I'm sure they will say yes!)

• If you know someone whom you would feel safe talking to, reach out to them. (use wisdom)

• There are many amazing resources online, including YouTube videos, podcasts, and even TikTok! 

  
  

Those who don't like therapy. The beautiful thing about God is that He made us all uniquely. Some people process things verbally (me), but there are plenty of other ways to find serenity, including journaling, reading, listening to music, cleaning, working out, meditation, prayer, etc. The important thing is to look at your life holistically and find an option that best supports your health and well-being as a whole. There is no one-size-fits-all. For example, someone with an eating disorder shouldn't use exercising as their main source of stress relief, and someone with OCD shouldn't use cleaning as their sole source of stress relief.

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Change

With counseling comes healing, and with healing comes change. And oftentimes, change has physical, spiritual, and emotional implications. 

For example, the ultimate marker of transitioning from girlhood to womanhood is menstruation. Although it's not fun, it is a necessary and healthy part of life. If I have a daughter one day, I hope to teach her to celebrate the miracle of maturing and marvel at how the Lord made her body. 

A while back, I read a really good book called Love and Other Words by Christina Lauren. Although some of it was a little inappropriate, it was a really well-written book that was written in a way that made me feel like I was watching a movie in my head as I flew through the pages. 

I don't remember the details of the plot, but I do remember snapping a photo of this page that really spoke to me. It is a beautiful message from the main character's mother. I'll let you read it for yourself. 

Many of us despise the changes that come with growing up. Biologically, these changes include gaining more body fat, breaking out, and balancing more responsibilities. But if we look beyond these immediate burdens, perhaps we can see the spiritual blessings buried beneath. 

The majority of young girls I know want two things: control over their bodies & to have children one day. I can relate, but I've got bad news for you- you can't have both. This concept is true biblically and biologically. 

Biblically, God commands us to surrender control. Spiritually, this will allow you to have an abundant life in Christ, and biologically, this can be helpful in allowing you to create life. 

Let me explain. Many girls strive to control their body size through excessive exercise and undereating. This causes mental and physical stress. Stress can prevent a young girl from starting her period or cause an older girl to lose her period. Personally, I've been on both sides of the coin. I was a late bloomer, and my menstrual cycle has been irregular before due to my own actions. If you've never struggled with this, I'm glad. But if you're interested, allow me to give you an insight into something I experienced when I was deep in disordered eating and exercise thoughts & habits. 

• The enemy began to speak all kinds of lies to me. On one hand, he convinced me that not having a period was a good thing because when I had a period, I was "failing" at having an eating disorder. "Your eating disorder isn't bad enough. You must not actually be struggling," are just a few lies he would whisper to me.

• On the other hand, when I didn't have a period, fear would take over because I knew I was mistreating my body. The enemy would applaud me when I would engage in disordered eating behaviors, but admonish me when my body showed the physical repercussions of my restrictive behavior. 

Sounds like a mess, right? It was. But let's zoom out for a second. 

What is one of my biggest goals in life? To become a mom. And what is required to become a mom? Fertility? And what is required for fertility? Health. And what is required for health? Rest. And what am I not doing when my mind is on an endless worry loop? That's right- resting. 

Do you see how the enemy (which manifests as an eating disorder in this specific situation) puts us down a pointless path of pain that ultimately prevents us from reaching our purpose? If your hope is to be a mother one day, do yourself a favor and start learning to fight the lies of the enemy NOW.

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I don't know if you've noticed, but it seems like all the influencers are having babies right now. I watched a video a while back in which the girl got pregnant by surprise. Although she was thankful, she admitted that she was a bit disappointed because she had just gotten to where she wanted to be physically. I'm not judging her- I think any girl would feel this way, but I don't think this is the mindset that God would want us to have. 

What if instead of striving for control of our bodies, we focused on doing the best we can, trusting that our bodies willl end up where they need to be?

What if instead of using our singleness to shrink our bodies, we sought sanctification from our Saviour?

What if instead of wasting time worrying about our bodies, we concerned ourselves with how we can serve the body of Christ? 

Motherhood is the ultimate form of sacrifice, and if that's your goal, I, as an aspiring nutrition professional, but more importantly, your sister in Christ, encourage you to run the race set before you with endurance, throwing off every weight that hinders you. (Hebrews 12:1) Think about Mary. She chose to trust God over her circumstances. She sacrificed her entire life to give birth to Jesus. She risked extreme punishment and judgment for being pregnant out of wedlock. She watched her Son be beaten and hung on a cross.

Because she was willing to surrender, we now get eternal life. Imagine what God might do through your surrender.

This Mother's Day, I hope you take the time to reflect on the sacrifices your mom made in order to give you life. Or, if you don't have the best relationship with your mom, take the time to meditate on the model Mary set for us. I'm excited and hopeful that I will be a mom one day, but for now, I'll continue giving life to the dreams God plants in my heart.

Love,

Breanna Chavez