Jesus, I'm Jealous
- Breanna Chavez
- May 19
- 4 min read
Updated: May 23
Hi friends! Today I wanted to talk about something I didn’t realize I struggled with, but looking back, it has popped up a few times in my life- jealousy. Well, at first I thought it was jealousy, but upon further research, I realize that it’s actually envy.
Apparently, envy is when you want something that someone else has, while jealousy is when you worry someone will steal what you have. Let me explain.
Jealousy typically takes place in romantic relationships. If you are a jealous girlfriend, you are worried that someone will try to take your man. Envy, on the other hand, is when you see little miss perfect post a picture-perfect moment with her cute boyfriend & you feel that ache in your heart because you wish you had that.
Honestly, I don’t like admitting I struggle with this. Kind of like how I don’t like to vocalize that I struggle with depression, I also don’t like to admit that sometimes the green-eyed monster takes root in my mind. It feels ugly, probably because it is. Here’s what the Bible has to say about this topic:
For one, God is described as a jealous God. This means that we belong to Him, and He doesn’t want something else to take His rightful place in our hearts and minds.
Envy is described as an act of the flesh, which is opposite of the fruit of the Spirit. Furthermore, it is also used as an antonym for love in 1 Corinthians 13:4: “4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. . .”
I’m sure you’re all aware, but it’s currently grad season. This grad season is special to me for a few reasons. For one, my little cousin is graduating this year, and secondly, this is the year I was originally set to graduate college (instead I graduated a semester early).
Okay… you might be wondering. So what’s the problem? On the surface, there isn’t an issue. I can leave the “congratulations” comments and clap for my classmates as they walk across the stage, but the Lord knows my heart, and He’s not going to let me go through this season without sanctification. So, I think it’s time I yield to the Spirit, search the scriptures, and seek wise counsel in order to get to the root of this weed called envy.
I could go in several different directions with this post, but I’ll start by describing my past experiences with envy.
The first time I remember feeling envious was in junior high, as I was surrounded by stunning cheerleaders who were all cooler than me in my opinion. This feeling followed me to high school, as all the guys chose them over and over again.
This next example sounds silly, but I also remember feeling envious when Sadie Robertson (now Huff) got engaged. I vividly remember lying in my bed, scrolling on Instagram of course, about to go to sleep. I decided to refresh one more time, only to see Sadie’s beautiful engagement video. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was truly one of the most beautiful expressions of love I had ever seen. Sadie was literally glowing in her two-piece white romper as her boyfriend-turned-fiance carried her to a simple yet stunning proposal amidst some gorgeous greenery. My heart sank and tears swelled in my eyes as the enemy taunted that this would never be my reality.
Feelings of envy popped up in college as well, specifically during my sophomore year when the new freshmen seemed to have it all. Somehow they managed to cheer on the Aggies every weekend, hit Northgate Thursday-Saturday, get the hot guys, and still ace their exams. Meanwhile, my most exciting venture was meeting my friends for a hot girl walk or dinner once a week, and I made it to a whopping two Aggie football games during my entire college career. Despite my less than exciting social life, I only managed to have a 4.0 semester once.
Fortunately, Bs get degrees, and social hours don’t count on grad school applications. “Once I graduate college,” I thought, “things will be easier.”
Yet, here we are. Envy threatens to enter once again as I see girls my age getting engaged left and right.
Engagements are one of the most magical moments we get to experience on earth. For me, an engagement ring symbolizes the key that will unlock the door to everything I’ve ever dreamed of- a fancy white dress, fun times with my closest friends, and finding the father of my future children. The hardest thing to come to terms with is that many of my nutrition classmates went through the same difficult courses that I did, and not only did they manage to make better grades than me, but they also met the love of their lives while doing so.
On the surface, it seems like there’s no solution- right now I’m as single as they come with no eligible bachelor in sight. But when we reduce romance to the physical realm, we are forgetting that our faith is not of this world and that we serve a God who is smarter & more creative than we could ever imagine.
Yes, we can gain inspiration from our peers, but we must never forget that everyone faces battles that other people know nothing about. Take my sister for example. If I wasn’t her twin, I’d think she was perfect. She’s about as girl-boss as they come. Fortunately, God gave me the gift of getting a front row seat at her reality, which has helped me realize that even really successful individuals have their struggles.
I want to end this post with a challenge. Rather than ruminating on what everyone else has that you don't, the next time you are tempted to compare, open up your Bible (or your computer or your phone), and turn to Romans, Ruth, or Revelation. Each of these display a different way to think about God’s love. Romans is more conceptual, Ruth follows a character, and Revelation reveals truths about heaven.
And when you inevitably fail to take those toxic thoughts captive, here’s a little line you can say to your Savior- “Jesus, I’m jealous.” Then, invite Him into your thoughts and let Him rewrite the narrative you’re telling yourself.
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Stay tuned for more posts very soon!
Love, Breanna Chavez
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