It is going to be okay.

Hey friends! Super quick blog post today!

Tbh, I wasn't gonna write a blog post this week because things have been hectic, but tonight I'm making the choice to sacrifice studying for my psychology exam to meditate on the Lord's faithfulness- storing myself up treasures in Heaven I guess you could say. It takes real courage for me to do this, so I hope you get something out of this <3.

Today, the dreaded day came- I did not do good on my biochem quiz :(. Surprisingly though, I am okay. Yeah, it was a bummer, but I know that I did my best, and after the quiz, I got some clarification on some concepts from my TA. Like I told my mom, biochemistry is a language. I speak the language, but I'm not completely fluent yet.

If you've read my blog posts before, you'd know that Chem 119 was a struggle for me. After I failed a chemistry test freshman year, I spent hours crying and felt like a complete failure. I remember a fellow Terry Scholar asked me how I did, and I was literally so embarrassed to tell her because she had done way better than me.

Today, a very similar situation happened. One of my classmates messaged me after the quiz and asked me how I did. They even said they thought that they made a 100. HAHA- could not be me. (Granted, I have made a 100 on two out of the 4 quizzes we have had & I passed our first exam, so rest assured that I am not dumb hehe). Instead of lying or feeling embarrassed, I was honest and said that I did not do well.

What's funny is that said person did not offer any type of encouragement to me after I shared my shortcomings. Don't worry, it's not that deep, but an encouraging word definitely wouldn't have hurt.

"If I can't count on others to encourage me, and I don't have the energy to encourage myself, then who do I have?" I thought.

That's when I remembered Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

You see, it's not enough for someone else to tell me that everything is going to be okay. My mom tells me this all the time, but unfortunately, it doesn't really provide the relief I'm looking for because she doesn't actually know if it will be okay. She's human just like me. Although she is the person who cares about me the most on this side of heaven, even her words fall short of the kind of comfort my heart needs at times. That's okay though, because her love is only meant to be a dim reflection of Christ's love for me.

God, the one who created my heart, mind, body, soul, and spirit, knows me completely.

• He knows every thought of mine before it even comes to be

• He knows all my dreams and fears

• Every single day of my life is written in His book.

• He knit me together in my mother's womb and decided that little Bre would need a helper to go through life with, so He placed Bailee right beside me. We haven't separated since.

You might be asking: "If God is so good, why do we have to go through so much suffering? Why would a good God allow this? Why does He even give us free will when He knows we will just mess it up?"

I think it's because He knows that any trial we could face or mistake we could make will not cause the slightest bit of pain once we get to heaven. Every tear will be dried, and everything will be made right. What a day that will be.

For now, though, our trials give rise to our testimonies. God literally wastes nothing. Today, for example, one of my peers messaged me for advice about where to take her chemistry courses. I had the privilege of encouraging her because I've taken chem classes at TAMU and at a community college. Both are hard in their own ways. There's no easy way out- just like in life. But that's okay because God says everything is going to work out even better than we could have imagined-- if not here, then in Heaven.

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One more God moment from today before I go. Freshman year, the Terry Scholars had a painting night at the Rec. At the time, I was literally terrified to leave my dorm at night. Not to mention, I didn't even know where the Rec was, and Bailee couldn't come with me. So I didn't go. First semester of freshman year was marked by so much anxiety. I was struggling in Chem 119, filled with fear and dread, and I wasn't involved in any extracurricular activities.

Tonight though, I went to the Rec and attended a TSDA meeting on the terrace of the Rec (via Zoom). As I looked out at the sun setting on Kyle Field Ipic above), I was reminded of those early college days, and I smiled because those trials have officially turned into testimonies.

As my time in college comes to a close (soonish), I've been reflecting a lot. I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I miss those days of freshman year. Not because they were fun, but because I was so close to the Lord. I wish there was a way to time travel there for just one day. My fellow Terry Scholars and I have grown up a lot, so it would be cool to go back to freshman year for just a day. Likewise, I'd love to give freshman Bre a hug, and tell her the cheesy truth: that everything is going to be okay. Luckily, Bailee and I are pretty good about documenting most things (this blog for example), so we have plenty of videos and pictures to look back on. 

Psalm 34:18: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit

This semester of college has been incredibly difficult. We knew it would be coming into it, but nothing prepares you for living the actual thing. It's kind of like the difference between reading the lab manual and actually performing the experiment. Head knowledge is one thing, but when you're put in a situation where you actually have to apply that knowledge, that takes a whole new kind of strength- strength that I may or may not have depending on the day LOL. Even though I've grown a lot, I am still only human. I KNOW the truth of God's word, but my flesh often fails to live out my faith perfectly.

So my advice to you is to keep your head up. Take it one day at a time, and trust that one day soon, you'll laugh in the places you cried and walk over things you used to trip over. You aren't alone in your struggles; I'm right there with you!

I saw the following post on Instagram the other day. It's a mom account, but there's always really good advice on it, so I enjoy following! This post was a mom's encouragement to her daughter trying out for cheerleader. The words can apply to any difficult thing you're facing today.

I hope something in this post encouraged you!

Love,

Breanna Reese Chavez