Fixing Your Focus

Hey everyone! Some thoughts on the blog tonight about what you focus on!

In talking to a mentor during the depths of my eating and exercise disorder relapse, she told me that it was as if I had a pair of sunglasses on that prohibited me from seeing clearly. Everyone could see them on me except me. And I refused to acknowledge their presence.

In my blog post tiled "a Saving Faith" I touched on the concept of being healed over being distracted.

In the days since I posted that, I've experienced much progress in my mental and spiritual health, but I couldn't help but wonder if the shift was due to distraction or surrender. Was I feeling better just because I was busy, or was I actually being healed?

So I've taken some time to ponder the difference.

The past few months, I refused to surrender my disordered eating and exercise patterns to the Lord. I was stuck in a spiral that I felt I couldn't escape as I saw myself slowly reverting back to who I was before I had a true saving relationship with Christ.

Since I've recently taken the time to slow down and seek the Lord, I've been able to make the lifestyle & habit changes necessary to restore my health with much less mental resistance than before.

My circumstances haven't changed. In fact, the potential for stress has heightened as I'm faced with academic pressure, yet I'm feeling so much more free.

Because of my decision to turn back to the Lord, my past stressors don't hold so much weight. Things really do become strangely dim in light of His glory and grace.

He's pointed me towards truth and helped to guard my mind with peace that surpasses all understanding.

With this, I've been able to concentrate on academics, hobbies, and friendships more.

The devil wants me to believe that these are distractions for my problems. But there's a difference.

In the summer and fall, I pushed through all promptings of the Spirit to slow down and consider my steps. Sure, engaging in activities like working out and hanging out with friends made me feel better for a few hours, but when things slowed down or got quiet, the negative thoughts were there to meet me.

Now, however, I'm able to slow down and take a deep breath as the Spirit leads. Instead of running from the fiery darts from the enemy, I'm able to quote scripture and move on. The negative thought patterns that held me captive no longer have the same sting.

Because Christ is back on the throne of my life, taking care of my mental health via positive activities is not a distraction but a form spiritual defense.

I'm learning more and more each day that the mind is a POWERFUL thing. Our thoughts hold the power of life and death. That's why God tells us to guard our hearts ABOVE ALL ELSE and to focus on "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy." - Philippians 4:8

I now understand that the Lord gives us these boundaries to put on our thought life as a form of protection.

But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

James 1:25 tells us to fix our eyes on the perfect law of liberty- God's word.

Contrary to what culture says, true freedom isn't found in the absence of limitations. True freedom is found with the right limitations.

Jesus gives us limitations to put on what we allow into our hearts and minds. If we don't correctly sift through what we are allowing in and cling to what is good, lies will seep in and get bigger and bigger.

Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, nwhen desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, obrings forth death.

James 1:13-15

For instance, let's say you start developing an insecurity that you're not enough. Instead of releasing the lie and pointing yourself back to the truth, you start to believe and begin looking for ways to prove yourself in the world- leading to a host of other problems. These could all have been prevented by holding fast to the criteria stated in Philippians 4:8.

Thus, we must set boundaries on what we focus on. We can't afford to believe lies- even small ones because, when full grown, leads to spiritual, emotional, and even physical death.

Filtering your focus takes effort. It's a discipline to focus on good and heavenly things- especially when worldly things may look more appealing. You'll undoubtedly be tempted to take your gaze off Christ. And it may seem harmless to "let a little sin in."

In my food bacteriology class, the professor repeatedly emphasizes that prevention of foodborne illness is much easier to manage than having to treat it.

The same is true in our lives. Guarding our minds in the present is a lot easier than having to deal with eating disorders, broken relationships, anxiety, etc. in the future. There's a reason we are told to FLEE from what's evil.

Our attention cultivates our affections.

Our attention is a coveted commodity. It's always being pulled in many directions. Science says our thoughts determine our actions. The Lord knows our brain works this way, and He gives us an answer of where to place our focus in this crazy world. And no it's not ON our feelings, appearance, accolades, relationship status, or anything else of this world. It's on Him. The cool thing is that when we focus our attention on God, He can do transformative work within us. He can change the heartbeat that we have inside of us to be more in line with His own. What started as a discipline really becomes the true desire of our heart. This is the best way to live. And it's all I want.

Going back to the subject of surrender versus distraction-

Surrender allows you to fear neither the slow down or the speed up because you have a confident assurance of who holds both.

On the other hand, distraction looks like running to the treadmill, to Netflix, to social media, to academics, to a relationship to hide your feelings. Distraction is directionless- a bandaid for a wound that will undoubtedly burst open again.

Surrender involves bringing your pain to Jesus, leaving it there, and moving on with the calling and blessings He has for your day, which may actually include those activities such as school work, working out, or leisure time.

Distraction and surrender can involve the same activities but the difference is in the heart posture. We are able to maintain a pure heart only by keeping our eyes on Jesus.

As for me and my journey, I am experiencing more and more freedom each day- only through fixing my focus on Him.

"What's changing me isn't a program or a technique — it is a Person, more beautiful than any disorder. I can hand over control to him and not be destroyed. He is enough."

from https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/my-real-recovery-from-anorexia

Prayer: Lord, please help us to seek You first,above all else. Help us to diligently guard our hearts and minds now so that we can continue living in Your peace and abundance. Help us not to be led astray by our own sinful desires- even those that may be disguised as light- because we know that when these are full-grown, they lead to death. Help us to understand that rejecting the law of liberty today leads to a limited future. May we live a life committed to Philippians 4:8!

- bailee