Confusion as a Christian

Bailee Chavez
Aug 13, 2023
8 min read

In high school, I remember being confused as to how Christianity worked. I heard messages from Christian leaders and mentors on how following God led to abundance and was the best way. Yet, I saw a contrast in the world around me.

I saw non-Christians live simple, happy, and less anxious lives.

I saw couples that were not centered on God, still seem happy and receive favor.

I saw people with ill motives receive accolades & accomplishments despite their lack of pure intentions.

And I didn’t understand it.

I thought being a Christian was supposed to lead to the best life. How were people who lacked a strong faith still making it in this world? Why were they experiencing success in areas where I was “lacking.” In Him, wasn’t I supposed to lack no good thing?

Like I said, the prosperity in the lives of those around me confused me, but I also confused myself. There were seasons of my life where I had put things other than God on a pedestal- be it academics, athletics, extracurriculars, etc. And I was very “successful” in those areas.

I made near 100s on my report cards.

I was quite fast in track, receiving 1st in many races.

I received numerous awards within the FFA and had many leadership roles across multiple organizations.

Yet, not all of these endeavors were achieved with the motivation of pleasing God.

How could this be so?

As time has gone on, I have learned that, though my questions are valid, it is in my best interest to not compare my life to those around me. Additionally, I have learned more about grace- and how it is sufficient to cover all our sins. I have more deeply understood that all of us fall short of the glory of God in different ways BUT because He died for us while we were STILL sinners, we are still able to be blessed by Him.

I have also learned that God defines success differently.

Here is an excerpt from GotQuestions.org that maybe can help paint a better picture of biblical success.

God defines success quite simply. In John 17:3, Jesus declares, “Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom who have sent.” Psalm 16:11 states, “You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” In Luke 10:20, Jesus says, “Do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in the book of life.” From these passages we can deduce that ultimate success is being saved and knowing God. “Eternal life” in John 17:3 isn’t just a length of time but a quality of life. Eternal life is awesome because we are known by God and are in His presence, where there is fullness of joy. We are not to rejoice because of our abilities, victories, and possessions in this world. True success in which we rejoice is overcoming this world, being saved, and going to be with Jesus in heaven.

God measures success differently than the world does. Jesus said, “It is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest” (Luke 9:48; cf. Mark 9:35). Wealth, skill, and influence are irrelevant to true, eternal success. Biblical success that pleases and glorifies God is being known by Him and knowing and serving Him through faith in Jesus Christ and His gospel.

from: https://www.gotquestions.org/success-Bible.html

From this excerpt, I can deduce that it is possible to gain worldly power, approval, and possessions without being a Christian and without having God as your focus.

It is true that if you spend all of your time studying, you may be able to make near perfect test scores.

It is true that if you meticulously track all your food and workouts that you can maintain a lean and fit body that the world may praise.

It is true that you can gain followers, likes, and applause on social media by posting whatever is popular at the time.

All these things are possible and have been done by people in the past. Maybe you have even done them.

What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?

Matthew 16:26 (NIV)

I think this is the tricky part of Christianity. If Christianity was a ticket to a painless life, everyone would be a Christian. But the reality is, your religion doesn’t make you immune to struggle.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16:33 New International Version (NIV)

In a podcast episode I recorded featuring Laura Eldredge on my podcast Live, Learn, Love, we talked about how people try to avoid comparison by spending their lives being on the top end of it.

episode link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5MBPmuTj3LtMUVzTgMxwl1?si=lR3vSEY1RAO_3NX0fnc0gg

Comparison only stings if you’re on the bottom of the totem pole.

So people get surgeries done, develop eating disorders, & burn the candle at both ends in order to have the best body, clothes, shoes, house, etc.

Because if they do this, maybe they will never have to experience the pain of inadequacy. Maybe they will never experience guilt or shame. Maybe they can save themselves from heartache.

But this isn’t true. Just like being a Christian doesn't mean you won't ever struggle, earning the world's approval won't protect you from all sources of pain, judgment, or self-esteem issues either.

Even if you feel as though you are on top of the world, your world can quickly crumble when the trends change, your weight fluctuates, or a natural disaster takes your home & possessions.

And maybe in these moments, you can turn to another source of worldly satisfaction to get your fill of adrenaline, security, approval, or whatever else you are seeking.

But, if I could take a guess, you will have to continue to make switches time and time again as these things fail you.

It ultimately comes down to a choice that you and I must make a choice of whose love we will seek. It is important to note that though neither choice saves you from struggle here on Earth, one does promise that today's pain will be redeemed in an eternal paradise.

If you want to be loved by the world, you run the risk of disappointment as cultural shifts take place and as you work to cover up your own weaknesses.

But if you seek to be loved by God, you will be pleasantly surprised to find that He gives His love freely. His love requires nothing of you besides belief.

The world’s love will require you to hyper analyze your actions. Mistakes will lead to feelings of guilt and shame. You may feel a sense of urgency to fix your imperfections. You may be tempted to punish yourself into “perfection.”

But God’s love will cover you in grace. In His light, I wouldn’t be surprised if you found that nothing You could do on your own can take away your sins. Nothing can make you whole again.

The only punishment that has the power to save you is the punishment that Jesus already endured on the cross.

Because human punishment doesn’t have the power to make you clean like Jesus’ punishment did, the Lord gives us a permission slip to move beyond the self-inflicted harm that may come from acknowledgement of our imperfections.

Because of Jesus, a messy past doesn’t mean you have to spend the rest of your days wallowing in shame and depriving yourself of the joy you don't think you deserve.

The world will tell us that we should

take pride in being our own worst critic
be super hard on ourselves
take ourselves to the extremes

It preaches that these things are necessary ingredients of being successful.

However, the more we shame ourselves into change, the harder that change is going to be, and it puts us at risk for changing in an unwanted way by shifting into another sabotaging pattern or behavior.

When trying to change an area of our life- be it our wealth, health, or relationships- we need to start from a place of knowing our worth in God. Essentially, we need to know that nothing we could ever do could add or subtract from the identity we already have in Jesus. We should know that He is sovereign over all our efforts and hard work.

And so

Earning money does not need to be achieved through overworking yourself.
Weight loss does not need to be achieved through compensation of past mistakes.
Cultivating friendships does not need to happen through self neglect.

The same is true for all areas of our lives.

We don’t have to live in a state of constant compensation for our imperfections. In fact, this is quite an ineffective way forward. Because it is not really forward. It is still letting the sins that Jesus bore on the cross dictate our actions.

Jesus tells us to let go of the sin that so easily entangles us, not to keep wrestling with it.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV

Our efforts to make ourselves right through punishment and compensation pale in comparison to the power of the punishment Jesus endured. His pain gave us the privilege of healing healthily and becoming whole in Him.

Sure, the world will offer quick solutions to problems and success that is dependent on us and our futile, fickle flesh.

But Jesus offers eternal joy and heavenly rewards in a Kingdom that will never end.

Breanna had a quote on her vsco board recently that sums up my point:

You know that, if you were to go to Australia in a good sound ship, you would get there even if you were always to lie down in the hold among the luggage and the rats; but I should like to go in a first class cabin, and I do not see why you and I, if we are going to heaven, should not go first-class. You would not think of taking a long railway journey in a luggage-van, and I want you who are favoured to be in Christ not to be satisfied with mere safety, but to look for joy and peace also. We may begin even here the music which we are to sing above; it is a pity that we should forego any of the privileges which really belong to us; so, beloved friends, if any of you are in the dark, let me say to you, in the words of the text, “Come ye, and let us walk in the light of the Lord.”

from: Walking-in-the-light-of-the-lord

I think it’s easy to find ourselves in the habit of bracing ourselves for a blow that may never come instead of living freely knowing that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Gosh, it’s hard to live from this place of abundance.