5 Things I'm Learning

Hi everyone!!! Gosh it seems like it’s been forever since I have posted on the blog, but I am so excited to be back for the month of July and share all that the Lord has been teaching me. 

I love our blog because it helps keep me accountable in my faith. One of my core values is integrity. I really value practicing what I preach. In order to show up authentically on here like I desire to do, I have to be walking with the Lord. Otherwise, I find it extremely difficult to write, which is honestly a blessing. It keeps my heart in check. 

For those of you who don’t remember, before I renamed the podcast “Happiest Here” to match the blog, it was called Live, Learn, Love. I never really knew why my mentor and I decided to name it this. It kind of just happened. But the Lord recently revealed the significance of it to me. On this side of Heaven, we have no choice but to live, learn from our experiences, and hopefully end up loving the Lord, others, and ourselves in the process. 

I value sharing this space with Breanna because it gives me time to process before I post. Likewise, she never fails to courageously cover what I can’t emotionally at the time and oftentimes speaks exactly what I need to hear. This was definitely true regarding the latest podcast episode. It was so good!

Episode 86: True Love Isn't Earned w/ Breanna Chavez:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7t9hR7T5Xreu4w5pqURb39?si=dtICX3_vR3udBnznJdT1NA

I have a couple topics I would like to cover this week because God has been teaching me A LOT. 

I used to think it was strange that I saw God in everything. In college, I’ve seen so many things be a reflection of Him and His love for us, including areas such as relationships, grades, and body image. 

But I recently realized that I see Him in everything because He QUITE LITERALLY IS IN EVERYTHING. 

With that being said, here is what I have been learning recently. 

1. Don't hide your heart

Sometimes I get into seasons where I am tempted to hide my faith and my testimony in order to be more accepted by other people. But every time I do this, the Lord so gently convicts me that, if I have to hide the most important part of myself in order to get another person’s attention, then I don’t need their attention in the first place. It’s important to always be authentic to who you are because what you catch people with will likely be what you have to keep them with. 

The only thing in this life you have complete control over is how you act. Looks fade, as do accolades. Further, neither are always completely relevant in every situation. When times are tough, looks won’t be enough to pull you through, and you won’t truly change the world with your trophies and titles. Luckily, a good heart is gold in every circumstance. 

2. Be the change you want to see in the world. 

One part of my testimony that I haven’t been entirely open about is the struggles I have experienced with body image and disordered eating in college. This was not something I expected, but one that has been very prevalent, painful, but also incredibly purposeful. It has been one of the biggest pains I have experienced in my lifetime, yet the Lord has taught me SO many things throughout my experiences that I know will be invaluable in my future career as a dietitian. 

The reason why I have struggled to share my journey is because I have been waiting until I am “perfectly recovered” to do so. 

But on this side of Heaven, being perfectly healed isn’t always promised- especially in regards to our thought life and our feelings. Further, there should never be a time where we believe we are above reproach and closed off to growth. 

The first thing I have learned that I will share is that having a bad body image or ED-related thought doesn’t mean I have relapsed. These thoughts may come up, but it’s what I do with them that matters. 

Something that has been very helpful for me is acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). It’s where you practice radical acceptance of a thought without letting it dictate your actions, and it is highly effective in giving you a margin between a trigger and your response. 

For instance, if you have a bad body image thought, instead of committing an action based on that thought, you can accept the thought for what it is- literally nothing- and commit to moving forward with your day as usual or maybe table it to address later.

Although my ED likes to tell me that everything is urgent, I have learned that my worries can wait. And waiting becomes a whole lot easier when I am not letting my weight determine my worth. This also has worked for me regarding schoolwork. 

I can accept that work is hard or that I don’t want to do it while still committing to doing it anyways— choosing to using my energy to study rather than complain over my to-do list. 

Regardless of whatever the state of our mind and emotions, we always have a say in how we respond. 

I can remember messaging with my mom and telling her that I wish I could talk to a Christian eating disorder counselor. The worldly methods of healing just weren’t cutting it. I knew this was because my struggles with eating went beyond the physical and into the spiritual. My habits were so hard to break because they were rooted in deep-seeded lies. To best recover, I knew I would have to uproot those beliefs, which would take some unburying. 

With time, I would learn that my calling in life is to be the person I needed during this difficult time. 

I have also learned that the devil will try to delay my becoming as much as possible. 

Two years ago, I recall telling my sister that I didn't know how I could save others if I couldn't even save myself. 

Recently, it has dawned on me that I have never saved myself. It's never been me doing the saving. It’s always been Christ. The only thing that’s been enough to pull me out of my disorder is God’s word and what He says about me. 

Two days ago, my sister and I had a very similar conversation as we did two years ago. This time around she gave the best advice.  

She told me that it would never be my job to save anyone from their eating disorder. I could only provide them with the Truth that never changes. From there, the choice is theirs.

The same is even true for myself. God gives me His word, but it’s my choice as to whether or not I will choose to walk in freedom. Although I wish this was a "one and done" choice, I am learning that picking up your cross and following Jesus is a decision that must be made DAILY.

No matter the state of the body, the soul can always access health. 

3. Not everyone can be… 

Have you ever watched Gossip Girl? Even if you haven’t you still may be familiar with these lines: 

Serena: I know you may find this hard to believe, but not everyone wants to go to Yale because not everyone wants to be Blair Waldorf.

Blair: Not everyone can be.

_________

At the end of high school and during the beginning of college, in many ways, I felt as though my identity was being taken from me. 

After not graduating as 1st in my high school class, not receiving the full-ride scholarship my sister did, not earning the position of state FFA officer, and being humbled in many of my classes at TAMU, I felt as though my identity was put in jeopardy. Everything that I wanted to be defined by was falling through. 

Quickly, my life became chaotic.

During this season, I asked myself who I was about a million times over. 

Maybe I was my grades

Maybe I was my outward appearance

Maybe I was my accomplishments

Maybe I was my talents

Maybe I was my weaknesses

Maybe I was my church attendance or lack thereof

Maybe I was my reputation

Maybe I was just Breanna’s sister

So many things vied for my full identity, but none of them gave me the lasting security I was longing for. 

As each counterfeit identity crumbled, the Lord has taken me on a journey of learning that I am simply His daughter. All along, He has just wanted me to rest in the fact that I'm His. 

By following Him, I am able to be who I need to be in each season- sometimes more of a student, other times more of a friend, sometimes a creative, but always and forever His.  

_________

I used to beat myself up if I felt like I missed an opportunity or felt inadequate in any area I deemed important. My failure must have been because 

I didn't work hard enough. 

I wasn't good enough 

I wasn't pretty enough. 

Etc. 

It’s easy to fall into this mindset even today. That is, if I choose not to rest in 2 Corinthians 12:9.

This verse says that God’s power is made PERFECT in my weakness. 

What I glean from this verse is that God can shower any weakness in grace. 

Grace can override any opposing force surrounding our circumstances, and things can end up exactly as we desire & pray for EVEN despite our imperfections. 

That is, if that result would best display God’s power. 

God is all about His glory and our good. So, even if we don’t get the results we want, we can trust that a perceived punishment may actually just be God displaying His power in a way we did not expect. 

Because I like specific examples, I'll share mine 

God could have allowed me to be Valedictorian or even allowed Breanna and I to tie

God could have allowed me to receive the Terry Scholarship 

God could have allowed me to be a state FFA officer 

But that story was not sufficient for me. He had a different plan to showcase His perfect power. 

I have wrestled with the Lord over these things & I have come to a conclusion. 

I was not named Valedictorian, a Terry Scholar, or a state officer, not because I am less than, but because not everyone can be one. 

God has a unique story for each of our lives. 

And every good thing cannot be attributed to everyone. Not everyone can be valedictorian in the same way that not everyone can be the best singer, athlete, actor, or teacher. 

We all have different gifts and different blessings in which God’s grace has been sufficient for us in. 

With this in mind, comparison is entirely irrelevant. 

In college, as I have seen my sister and I become more different, I have come to realize how useless comparison is. 

If I was focused on her blessings, I couldn’t see my own or even really see God, frankly.

The same is true for you. 

If you feel that your only option is to let go of comparison and simply focus on where God has YOU, then I think God has you right where He wants you. 

God allowed various circumstances to separate Breanna and I. In faithfulness, He has afflicted and gifted us in different ways. 

I believe this is to show how 2 girls can be the same age, have the same parents, live in the same dorm, major and minor in the same things, have the same car, etc. and still be so different + need Jesus in different ways. 

4. Follow the Law, But Make Sure You’re in the Right Land

I have often asked myself why transitions are so hard. 

Of course, the obvious answer is because it involves a shift in what is needed/expected from us. 

It's almost as if we are starting a new job, and everyone knows being a new employee isn't always a walk in the park.

God gave me a revelation about this this week. 

• At college, I wanted to please my professors 

• As a bridesmaid, I wanted to please the bride

• At home, I want to please my parents 

• On social media, I want to be someone worth following 

In most environments I am in, I want to show up well. This is a good thing, except when I am in the wrong environment or have the wrong boss. 

For example, 

If my eating disorder is the boss, I'm in trouble.

Likewise,

If I am trying to fit in within an environment that doesn't share my core values, I’m in trouble. 

When feeling inadequate, I have recently had to ask myself whether or not the land I am in has the right laws. 

Does the “land” follow the Lord? 

Taking a step back and reflecting on this has allowed me to make sure I am striving to be successful in the right things. 

5. Accountability Can Save Your Faith

Being in your 20s is hard.

For many, it’s a time of exploration- a time of trying to find your place, passions, and people in this world. 

It can be easy to get swept up by society and forget the God we serve if we are not intentional about focusing on the Lord and believing that He is in charge of everything. 

This is especially true in regards to relationships. 

In a culture that pushes relationships, it can be tempting to settle in this area. 

But I don’t believe this is what God wants for us. 

One way I have maintained accountability in this area is by covering it in prayer. 

I started a prayer journal for my future husband when I was 17 years old. 

For the past 4 years, I have documented my prayers asking for the best type of man.  

No, they aren't requests for a man in finance, with a trust fund & who is 6’5 with blue eyes 🤣

They are requests for God’s blessing over my future husband’s character and faith. 

It also includes prayers for myself. I always pray that I am becoming the woman I need to be in order to be a good wife and mom one day. 

Although I know marriage isn’t something God promises, I don’t believe that it’s ever a bad idea to pray about the desires God has put on your heart. 

This journal keeps me accountable in many ways. 

Because when your values are clear, your choices are easy. 

Though there are lots of things that can be subjective when choosing who to marry, things like a strong faith and character shouldn’t be overlooked. 

When I am tempted to write my own story out of desperation, I think back to my prayer journal. 

This always gives me the strength to put down the pen and let God finish the good work He’s already started. Because, while I could settle for a mediocre story written by a doubtful me, there's a difference between God's grace and God's blessing when it comes to relationships. And I want the latter.

It also encourages me to rest in the fact that, despite anything that has been spoken over me or that I have spoken over myself in moments of weakness, God will have His way and His perfect timing. 

It reminds me that I don't want anything that doesn't pass the Romans 8:28 double test of being for my good and His glory. 

And it prompts me to recall that the second my singleness doesn't pass this test, God will change the seasons. 

No worries, I also have a prayer journal for all my other prayers too lol. 

I hope this inspires you to start documenting your prayers when you can. It is always so cool to go back and see how God showed up. 

Consistent prayer is the perfect reminder of how Hebrews 11 defines faith- “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.“ 

If you made it to the end of this post, God bless you for real! 

I hope you enjoyed reading about these 5 things the Lord has been teaching me <3

Talk to you next week! 

Love,

Bailee Chavez